


One Step Forward, Two Steps Backwards

by AhkmenrahForever



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Supernatural Elements, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhkmenrahForever/pseuds/AhkmenrahForever
Summary: Ryan wakes up in the year 2016. After realizing that there may be no way to get him back to his own time, he decides to simply relive the last four years of his life. This time, however, he's going to do things differently.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Helen Pan, Ryan Bergara/Marielle Scott, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	One Step Forward, Two Steps Backwards

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea based on a dream I had the other night, and I decided that I would start working on it before I start college classes. So, enjoy whatever the hell this is, and I'll try to have the final two chapters up as soon as possible.

Ryan opened his eyes and immediately knew that something wasn’t right.

Around him was the common hustle and bustle of the BuzzFeed office, somewhere he hadn’t stepped since the coronavirus had hit back in March. Even then, he still only came to the office to film Unsolved episodes, not even editing them at the office since he had officially quit to start Watcher with Steven Lim and Shane.

He looked down, and even his outfit was wrong. He was wearing a pair of jeans he had sworn he had lost about two years ago, and a button up that he had grown too buff for.

It was almost as if he had… somehow traveled back in time.

He looked back up to see Brent walking towards him, and he shook his head. Perhaps this was a strange dream he was having. It did seem like a possibility, as his dreams sometimes felt hyper realistic; the worst ones tended to wake him up at night. “Hey, Ryan. Can we talk about Unsolved really quick?”

Ryan blinked and looked back up at Brent. “Um. Yeah. What’s up?”

He pursed his lips. “I think I need to step away. It’s been a lot of fun, but I think your stories are giving me nightmares, and I’m not getting much sleep at all. I’m really sorry to just back out on you like this.” Once again, Ryan blinked. This was starting to feel very familiar. “Is there anyone you could ask about taking my place?”

Ryan peered over his shoulder at his desk, where a lanky, goofy-looking man sat directly next to him. He was going over some paperwork, but Ryan couldn’t remember what exactly it was he was reviewing.

He looked back at Brent and nodded. “I have an idea.”

Brent smiled. “I’m glad you’re so chill about this, Ryan. I’m really sorry again.”

Ryan waved him off. “Nah, don’t worry. I completely understand buddy.”

As soon as they parted, Ryan took a deep breath. If this wasn’t a dream, then he was really stuck back in the year 2016.

For a moment, he could feel his breath quicken. Did this mean that he had to redo the last four years of his life? He had worked so hard to get to where he was in 2020 that he was afraid that if he had to do it again, he wouldn’t make it as big. What if this time he ended up working at BuzzFeed his whole life? What if he never got to live out his dreams like he was so close to doing? What if he somehow managed to fuck up his friendship with Shane?

Or…

What if he got this redo for a reason? Was it to show him how hard he had to work to get to where he wanted to be? Was it to try and change something he may have possibly regretted?

Maybe… maybe this time, he would tell Shane just how he felt about him.

He took a deep breath. His first go-round, he had been so focused on his work that he had failed to realize how hard he had fallen for his coworker until it was far too late. He had been with Sara for quite some time and Ryan had been in and out of a couple relationships since. Perhaps this time, he could focus a little bit more on his relationship with Shane. Maybe he would fix things before they were too late.

“Well are ya gonna come sit or just stand there looking lost?” Shane called out to his friend, a smug grin on his face.

Ryan slowly made his way towards the older man, butterflies in his stomach as he thought about what had happened to him. “Hey, what happened yesterday?”

Shane raised an eyebrow. “Um. You and Brent filmed an episode of Unsolved and I sat here editing trying to help edit this new episode of Test Friends. Why? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Um. Yeah. Hey, uh, do you think you’d be willing to fill in for Brent on Unsolved? He quit on me this morning because apparently it’s starting to give him nightmares.”

The man chuckled, then shrugged. “Yeah, sure. What’s a few nightmares after all?” He turned back to his files, which were scattered over both his and Ryan’s desk.

Ryan smiled, then looked up at Shane for a few seconds. He didn’t understand what it was that drew him towards the man. Perhaps all the nights spent on location with him had made him appreciate Shane a lot more than he used to. He quickly turned back to his computer, blushing, even though Shane hadn’t looked at him.

“Hey um… do you want to… maybe have dinner sometime?” Ryan asked, trying not to overstep any boundaries, but trying to get his point across.

“Yeah, sure,” Shane replied, nonchalantly. “Will Helen be joining us?”

_Fuck. I forgot about Helen._

“Oh, uh, it hadn’t crossed my mind. I could ask her, but I thought it might be nice for just the two of us to have dinner. Maybe discuss Unsolved?”

Shane sighed. “I think you should ask your girlfriend to come with us,” he said, putting a stab through Ryan’s heart.

“What, do you think we’re going to need a babysitter?” Ryan replied, only half-joking.

He shrugged. “She’s kind of weird. I don’t know she’d feel about you taking a man that she barely knows on a dinner date, even if it is just to discuss business.”

Not wanting to push it, Ryan nodded sadly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll ask her if she wants to join us.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“I guess we’re going on a date, pal.”

It turns out, Helen did not want to come, and did not seem to be very happy about the dinner. Ryan didn’t really care, considering he was planning on breaking up with her anyway. He already knew that it wasn’t going to work out with her, and he didn’t see any point in delaying the inevitable. Besides, it would be unfair to keep her around when he was so focused on trying to get Shane anyway.

Of course, he decided to go anyway.

When he arrived at the restaurant, Shane was already sitting at his table, reading off the menu. Ryan took a deep breath and made his way over to the big guy.

“Hey,” Ryan said lamely, sitting down across from him.

Shane looked up from his menu. “No Helen?” He asked, and Ryan shook his head.

As he usually did, Shane knew something was wrong. “Is… everything okay between you two?”

It was strange, hearing that question asked again all these years later… or before? Either way, it was odd for Ryan to be thinking about his relationship with Helen again. Especially since he had already been through this breakup before. To be experiencing the same problems again felt odd to him.

Ryan eventually just shrugged. “Is it wrong of me to want to break it off with her after… all those years together?” He hesitated, not even remembering how long he had been with her for.

Shane sighed. “I think you should do what you think is best for you. If you think that it’s best for you all to break it off, then I don’t see why all of your years together should stop you.”

Before Ryan could respond, the waitress was standing in front of them, waiting to take their drink order.

They ordered their drinks, and Ryan decided he didn’t want to bring up the topic again. Reliving the moment was bound to be hard enough, even though it had been years since it had happened before. He hated to see the look of pain on her face the first time around, and he knew he would hate it just as much the second time.

“So for Unsolved I was thinking-“

Shane waved him away, and Ryan stopped. “You didn’t invite me out to dinner to talk about Unsolved, did you, Ryan?” The younger man stared back, flabbergasted. Shane raised an eyebrow and Ryan just responded with silence. Shane chuckled. “There’s something going on. I knew from the way you acted in the office this morning. You seemed… different.”

Once again, Shane paused, allowing Ryan to speak, and he responded with nothing but dumb silence. Was he talking about the fact that he was not the Ryan from 2016 or the fact that he was madly in love with Shane?

“Um… well…” Ryan decided it didn’t matter. Either way, it was an explanation for his weird behavior, and while one was far easier to explain, the other was a lot safer bet. “I’m uh… well. You’re not ever going to believe me but um… I’m going to tell you anyway.”

“Go on, then.”

Ryan sighed. “I’m… I’m not the Ryan from 2016. I’m from 2020.”

Once again, Shane raised an eyebrow. “What? So you’re like, a time traveler?”

Suddenly, the waitress was back, asking for their meal orders. Shane ordered a steak entrée, while Ryan stuck to a simple cheeseburger. He turned back to Shane, who looked more amused than anything. “Tell me, then, Ryan from 2020. What’s the future like?”

“Shit,” Ryan chuckled, then reeled back. “Well, the world as a whole is shit. Our lives aren’t too bad." He was glad that even if Shane didn’t believe him, he at least decided to humor him.

“Oh?”

“Well, basically this pandemic hits and so the entire world has to go into quarantine. Plus, there are a bunch of Black Lives Matter riots after this man named George Floyd is killed by the police and no one does anything about it, because you know, President Trump and stuff. Um… oh yeah! Kobe Bryant dies in January and that was pretty rough.”

Slowly, Ryan noticed the smile fall away from Shane’s face. He wonders if the bleak reality he’s painted has done anything to convince Shane the truth. “Like I said, we’re doing okay, though. You, me, and Steven Lim started this company that we called ‘Watcher’ after we left BuzzFeed. We have very supportive fans and really, it was a dream come true, for me at least.”

Shane shook his head, clearly taking in everything Ryan has told him. “That… was a lot.”

Ryan just nodded. “Yeah, it was a really weird year.”

They both sat in silence for a few moments. “So… what happened then? Why are you here? Where’s the other Ryan?”

“I wish I could answer any of those questions. I don’t know how long I’m here for, or if I’m ever going back, or if I just have to relive the last four years of my life. I don’t know where the other Ryan is or if he’s ever coming back, or if I just _am_ the other Ryan now. It… doesn’t make any sense to me.”

Shane sat there for a moment, trying to take in Ryan, who was clearly on the verge of a mental breakdown. “It’s okay, man. We’re going to get through this. Even if I never see the Ryan from 2016 again, you’re still _Ryan,_ you’re still here and clearly, you’ve grown so much as a person. Besides, if I ever need to know what the future holds, I have my own personal psychic,” he teased, trying to lighten the mood.

It surprised Ryan to hear that from the sounds of it, Shane believed him. He never believed in things involving the paranormal, though he supposed that time travel had a more scientific reasoning, even if Ryan knew what happened to him had nothing to do with science.

His thoughts were interrupted when the food arrived, taking seemingly no time at all.

“I know you’re sad and all, but honestly, this steak looks delicious, and my taste buds are really begging me to bring them to Flavortown.”

At this, Ryan laughed. “You’re right. Nothing like a big, meaty burger to distract me from my distress.”

“How was your dinner?” Helen spat, still clearly angry at Ryan over the dinner.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to stand here and take your shit, Helen. It was a business dinner with a friend and coworker of mine.”

“Yeah, I know who Shane is. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

He scoffed. “You think I like him?”

“I _know_ you like him, Ryan. And you don’t have the balls to admit that to anyone, including yourself.”

Well, she was almost right.

“What ever gave you the idea that I had a crush on Shane?” He asked, crossing his arms, asking not because he was angry, but generally curious.

Helen sighed. “Well firstly, you never shut the fuck up about him. Every time you come home from work; all I hear you talk about is Shane. Secondly, if you stared at him any harder, you would make babies with your fucking eyes. And lastly, you literally TOLD me that you thought you might like him one night.”

Ryan’s cheeks grew a deep red. “When the hell did I say that?”

“Not even a month ago. You’re awfully chatty when you’re drunk, Ryan.”

It was crazy to him that he had never heard about that incident before. He wondered if that was why their relationship had failed the first time. Perhaps he had always been in love with Shane and just didn’t realize it until way later in their friendship.

The two of them sighed, dropping their defensive stances. “I… yeah. You’re right, Helen. I do like Shane.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “No shit.”

“I’m sorry.”

Helen shrugged. “I knew this night was coming for a while. I obviously hoped it was nothing, but I knew when you told me who you were having dinner with tonight that it was real.”

He could hear the hurt in her voice. “Nothing happened. It really was just a business dinner.”

She nodded. “I know. You would never do something like that to me."

Ryan just nodded and she turned away from him. She muttered something that he couldn’t hear, and he asked what she had said. She turned back to him, tears welling in her eyes. “Are you in love with him?” She asked again, snapping this time. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and the situation was suddenly all-too familiar for Ryan. The first time was of course harder since he truly had been in love with her, however this time was still difficult, if only because this time, he was not in love with her. It had been literal years for Ryan since him and Helen had been in a relationship together. She, however, had been living it.

He gulped. “I… yes. I’m in love with him.”

She turned away again, clearly trying to hide her sobs. “Just… get out of my house,” she said.

Ryan nodded and without another word, he left, closing the door behind him. Tears fell from his face, even though he wasn’t nearly as sad as he thought he would be. Still, he sat in his tiny car and simply sobbed, for a solid five minutes.

Slowly, he picked up his phone. He knew there was only one person he was willing to call.

“Hello?”

Relieved at hearing the familiar voice at the other end of the line, he let out a small sigh. “Can I… stay with you for a while?”

“Ryan? Is everything okay?”

He sniffled. “Um… yeah. I just… Helen and I just broke up.”

He heard the person on the other end let out a gasp, then a sigh. “I’m sorry, man. Come on, we can watch some scary movies and down your feelings with ice cream.”

He chuckled through his tears. “Thank you, Shane.”


End file.
